Ghosted by a College Soccer Coach

As a high school soccer player with dreams of playing at the collegiate level, I know firsthand how exciting and nerve-wracking the recruiting process can be. You put in countless hours of hard work, reach out to coaches, and eagerly await their responses.

But what happens when a college soccer coach suddenly goes silent or gives you mixed signals?

In this article, I'll share my experience and insights on how to know if you're getting ghosted by a coach, what to do about it, and why you must always have a backup plan in your soccer recruiting journey.

The Signs of Ghosting

First, let's talk about the signs that a college soccer coach might be ghosting you. One of the most obvious signs is a sudden drop in communication. If a coach who was previously responsive and engaged in conversations suddenly stops replying to your emails or returning your calls, it could be a red flag. Another sign is vague or noncommittal responses. If a coach is genuinely interested in you as a recruit, they'll typically provide specific feedback, advice, and next steps. If their responses become generic or lack substance, it might indicate that their interest is waning.

It's important to remember that coaches are busy, and sometimes their lack of communication may not be personal. However, if the silence persists or you notice a significant change in their level of engagement, it's crucial to take action and protect your recruiting prospects.

When Positive Signs Don't Equal an Offer

One of the most challenging aspects of the recruiting process is navigating the uncertainty of verbal commitments and positive signs from coaches. Just because a coach is talking to you and expressing interest in your abilities doesn't necessarily mean you have a guaranteed spot on their roster. Coaches may tell you that they are likely to extend an offer, but until you have that official offer in writing, nothing is set in stone.

 I learned this lesson the hard way when a coach I had been in contact with for months suddenly went silent. They had given me every indication that an offer was forthcoming, but then I found out through the grapevine that the coach had been fired. It was a harsh reminder that verbal commitments and positive signs can evaporate in an instant, leaving you back at square one.

What to Do When You Suspect Ghosting

If you suspect that a college soccer coach is ghosting you, the first step is to take a deep breath and assess the situation objectively. Review your past conversations and interactions with the coach, and try to identify any patterns or changes in their behavior. If you still feel uncertain, it's perfectly acceptable to reach out to the coach directly and express your continued interest in their program. Ask if there are any updates or additional information they need from you to move forward in the recruiting process.

If the coach remains unresponsive or provides a vague answer, it may be time to shift your focus to other programs and opportunities. Don't let one coach's lack of communication derail your entire recruiting journey. Continue to research and reach out to other programs that align with your academic and athletic goals, and be proactive in your outreach and follow-up.

The Importance of Having a Backup Plan

One of the most important lessons I've learned in my recruiting journey is the importance of having a backup plan. No matter how promising a particular opportunity may seem, it's crucial to keep your options open and continue to explore multiple programs. This not only protects you in case of ghosting or unexpected changes but also ensures that you find the best overall fit for your college soccer career.

As you navigate the recruiting process, make sure to cast a wide net and engage with a variety of coaches and programs. Don't put all your eggs in one basket or assume that a verbal commitment or positive signs guarantee an offer. Until you have an official offer in writing and have accepted it, keep pursuing other opportunities and building relationships with coaches at different schools.

The Bottom Line

Getting ghosted by a college soccer coach can be a disheartening and frustrating experience, but it doesn't have to define your recruiting journey. By staying vigilant for signs of ghosting, taking proactive steps to communicate with coaches, and always having a backup plan, you can navigate the uncertainties of the recruiting process with confidence and resilience. Remember, your soccer skills and character are what ultimately define you as a recruit, not any one coach's opinion or lack of communication. Keep working hard, stay focused on your goals, and trust that the right opportunity will come along when the time is right.